This is how I met my Oud after three of separation
You can’t love the sea just by standing on its beach. You must descend into the sea, float in it, be carried by its waves, swallow its saltwater, hurt your feet on its rocky bottom, see its dark depths, and when you return to the beach you will see a different sea than you saw before entering. You will no longer see the beautiful peaceful blue sea after you’ve seen its deep darkness, experienced the cruelty of its rocks and, felt its directed rage. Then you will either hate the sea or love it forever.
Brave decisions get you closer to your goals.